The phrase “cheaters never win” technically isn’t true. Not when it comes to cooking, anyway. There’s all kinds of ways to cheat and win and this recipe is but one of millions of delicious ways. Ever seen those delicious artisan-style breads in fancy grocery stores, laden with olives or cheese or veggies? This recipe shows you how to get as close as you can to one of those tempting options without the time-cosuming additive of making your own yeast dough. Not that making said dough isn’t fun, but who doesn’t need options like that every so often?

And - and! This recipe uses that fancy spreadable cheese you get in your store’s deli cheese section. Yummmmm. Fancy schmancy cheese, all up in this bread. Can’t wait!

I always forget to put onions in the freezer fifteen or so minute before I cut them. This helps to keep those fumes from making me into some poor funeral-level sobbing mcsobberpants. And I seriously think this particular red onion was sent from the future to terminate me or something. Whooeee! I’m telling you, it almost had me on the floor. BUT. It tasted good on this bread, so tears, enough for a new river, totally worth it.

Once you flinch as that pizza dough can pops open, just roll that bad boy on out. Oh noes! Somebody handed you this tube of pizza dough! Whatever shall you do? If you must, clasp your bosom 1950’s style and then make this flatbread. So. Flippin’ Good. The bread, not the bosom-clasping.

Spread some cheeeeese. Try not to lick the spatula yet. The recipe calls, naturally, for a spreadable garlic cheese, but there was none to be had that day, so we used a white cheddar sage one and it was indeed lickable. YUM.

Freshly grated Parmesan cheese. Sprinkle it on. Go on! More. Please use a wedge of the fresh stuff. Just this once, it’s good to be a cheese snob. You really get your money’s worth out of that wedge. Put it on everything!

Fold the dough over on itself and repeat the process on top. Yup, double the cheese, double the flavor. If you can take it, proceed to the veggies!

After it was all said and done, we wondered why the recipe calls for such a big zucchini, but after it baked, we realized we probably could’ve used more than we did. It’s OK. You cook. You learn. You make more flatbread. We’ll have those t-shirts made up, stat.

Last steps - you’re almost there! Brush the top with some olive oil, then give it a sprinkling salt and pepper. It’s about to be, as Sis Blogging Partner says, faboosh!

Since Smell-o-Vision hasn’t been invented yet, we can tell you with complete honesty, it is absolutely faboosh. It did do some funny things while baking, just see the notes below on that and how to fix.

The only problem with this flatbread is everyone will want some and you will want some more and then there won’t be any and and - not faboosh! Our personal endorsement: make two! This was so good and the canned pizza dough is a definite fabulous time saver, although pizza dough from the grocery store deli area would be great as well, or make your favorite from-scratch dough if you prefer. Either way, just spread that cheese, layer on lots of thin-sliced veggies and enjoy the stew out of this bread.

Zucchini & Red Onion Flatbread

from Bon Appétit, August 2006

Prep Time: 10 minutes Cook Time: about 24 hour Level: Easy Serves: 4

• Nonstick vegetable oil spray
• 1 10-ounce tube refrigerated pizza dough
• 3/4 cup garlic-and-herb cheese spread (such as Alouette), divided
• 3/4 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese, divided
• 3 tablespoons chopped fresh Italian parsley, divided
• 1 small red onion
• 1 7- to 8-inch-long zucchini (yellow or green), cut crosswise into 1/8-inch-thick rounds, divided
• Olive oil

Preheat oven to 400°F. Line baking sheet with parchment paper; spray with nonstick spray. Unroll dough onto parchment. Spread half of herb cheese over 1 long half of dough, leaving 1/2-inch plain border. Sprinkle with half of Parmesan and 2 tablespoons parsley. Using parchment as aid, fold plain half of dough over filled half (do not seal edges). Spread remaining herb cheese over top; sprinkle with remaining Parmesan. Remove enough outer layers of onion to yield 2-inch-diameter core; cut into 1/8-inch-thick rounds. Arrange 1 row of zucchini down 1 long side of dough. Arrange onion rounds in row alongside zucchini. Arrange 1 more row of zucchini alongside onion. Brush vegetables with oil; sprinkle with salt and pepper. Bake bread until puffed and deep brown at edges, about 24 minutes. Sprinkle with 1 tablespoon parsley.

Notes:

The only problem we had with this flatbread is, forgetting how much the dough would stretch out and rise while in the oven, it could’ve used a few more veggies layered atop one another. Easy fix next time! You still won’t need the entire zucchini probably, but you can use more than we did this first time.

The other thing along those lines is some veggies just sort of slid off the bread, but it’s easy to fix by carefully pulling them right back up to their designated spots. I suppose this was due to the oil atop them mixing a little with the water they naturally gave off or something. Still, again, easy fix. Just don’t burn those little fingers.

We let it rest a good thirty minutes or so before cutting into it. If the veggies slide off again a little while cutting, again, just place them back in their spots and no worries. Don’t care for the veggies we used? Try your own variation.

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